Can Cuddling Help With Anxiety and Stress? What Research Says

You know those days when everything feels a bit much? You’ve been rushing around, answering messages, dealing with people, and by the evening your brain is still going at a hundred miles an hour.

Sometimes you want to talk about it. Sometimes you want everyone to leave you alone. And sometimes, all you really want is a hug.

There’s something interesting about that last one. A hug doesn’t sort out your workload, pay your bills or make tomorrow’s problems disappear. Yet for some people, being held can make the world feel a little less overwhelming.

Why?

As it turns out, our skin, brain and nervous system are involved in a rather complicated conversation whenever we experience touch. And researchers have been trying to understand how that conversation relates to stress, anxiety and our sense of safety.

So, can cuddling help with anxiety and stress? The short answer is that comforting, welcome touch may help some people relax. But the longer answer is much more interesting.

Why Do We Want a Hug When We’re Stressed?

Think about what happens when a young child gets frightened or hurts themselves.

Quite often, they run towards a familiar adult. They want to be picked up, held or comforted.

They don’t need to understand what cortisol is or how their nervous system works. They’re simply seeking reassurance from someone they trust.

As adults, we become more independent. We learn to manage problems, regulate our emotions and get through difficult days without someone holding our hand.

But growing up doesn’t mean our capacity to enjoy physical comfort suddenly disappears.

Many of us still appreciate a hug after bad news, a hand on the shoulder when we’re upset or the feeling of being close to someone when we’re overwhelmed.

Of course, not everyone responds this way. Some people prefer space, silence or a chance to settle themselves without physical contact.

Both responses are normal.

What’s fascinating is that touch can be more than a pleasant social gesture. It also gives the brain information about what’s happening around us and who we’re with.

What Happens in Your Body When You’re Stressed?

Stress isn’t just something that happens in your thoughts.

Your body responds too.

When your brain detects a possible threat or challenge, several systems become involved in preparing you to respond.

Your sympathetic nervous system can increase alertness, heart rate and other aspects of physical arousal. Meanwhile, a hormonal pathway known as the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, or HPA axis, helps regulate the release of cortisol.

Cortisol is often called the stress hormone, although that’s a rather unfair description of something your body genuinely needs.

It helps regulate energy availability, metabolism and your response to challenges. The problem isn’t that cortisol exists; it’s that prolonged or poorly regulated stress can be difficult on the body.

Once a stressful situation passes, other processes help your body recover.

The parasympathetic nervous system is part of that picture. It’s involved in everyday functions such as digestion, heart-rate regulation and recovery from arousal.

People sometimes describe it as the body’s “rest and digest” system.

That phrase is useful, but it doesn’t mean you can switch it on instantly by having a cuddle.

The nervous system is more complicated than an on-and-off switch.

Can Hugging Actually Lower Cortisol?

This is where the research gets particularly interesting.

In a 2022 experiment published in PLOS ONE, researchers investigated whether a brief embrace between romantic partners affected the body’s response to a stressful task.

Participants were assigned either to hug their partner before the task or to a control condition without the hug.

I like this study because it illustrates something important about science.

We often hear simple statements such as “hugging lowers stress hormones”. But when you look at the actual research, the results are more specific.

Who is being hugged, the circumstances, what researchers measure and how comfortable someone feels can all matter.

What Does the Bigger Body of Research Say?

One experiment can be interesting, but it’s helpful to look at what happens when researchers combine findings from many studies.

In 2024, researchers published a large systematic review and meta-analysis in Nature Human Behaviour.

They examined research into touch interventions and a range of physical and mental health outcomes.

So the evidence gives us good reasons to be interested in touch as a source of comfort and support.

What it doesn’t give us is a guarantee that cuddling will relieve anxiety for everyone.

Your Skin Is Doing More Than You Think

We tend to think of skin as the thing that keeps the outside world out.

But it’s also a huge sensory organ.

Your skin contains nerve endings that help detect pressure, movement, vibration, temperature and other sensations.

Some nerve fibres are particularly interesting when it comes to affectionate touch.

They’re called C-tactile afferents.

These nerve fibres, found in hairy skin, respond particularly well to certain kinds of slow, gentle stroking.

They’re thought to contribute to the emotional and pleasant aspects of touch, rather than simply telling you where something is touching your body.

In other words, your brain isn’t only processing the physical mechanics of contact. It’s also interpreting what that contact might mean.

But context is enormously important.

The same gentle touch could feel lovely when it comes from someone you trust, irritating when you’re overstimulated or uncomfortable when it’s unexpected.

And not all cuddling involves the same sensory pathways. A firm hug, hand-holding and gentle stroking are different kinds of contact.

That’s one reason there isn’t a single type of touch that everybody finds relaxing.

What About Oxytocin, the So-Called Love Hormone?

You’ve probably heard that hugging releases oxytocin.

Oxytocin is a hormone and signalling molecule involved in several biological processes, including childbirth, milk release and aspects of social behaviour.

Researchers are interested in how oxytocin relates to bonding, social experiences and stress.

But calling it the “love hormone” makes it sound much simpler than it really is.

Oxytocin doesn’t automatically make every social interaction pleasant, and researchers can’t assume that a hug has increased someone’s brain oxytocin simply because they feel relaxed afterwards.

Measuring oxytocin is complicated, and its effects depend on the person and the situation.

So although oxytocin is part of the scientific conversation about touch, it isn’t accurate to say that cuddling works because it floods your brain with a happiness chemical.

There’s no need to exaggerate the biology to appreciate a good hug.

Why Humans Have Such a Strong Relationship With Touch

We arrive in the world needing other people.

Human babies depend on caregivers for warmth, protection, feeding and comfort. Physical contact is part of many of those early interactions.

And we’re not the only mammals for whom contact matters.

Many primates spend time grooming one another, which can have social functions beyond keeping their fur clean.

Other mammals also use close physical contact in caregiving and social relationships.

That doesn’t mean human cuddling is exactly the same as primate grooming. We shouldn’t treat animal behaviour as a direct explanation for everything humans do.

But it does remind us that physical contact has a long biological and social history.

Humans are social mammals, and our relationships with touch begin well before we can explain them in words.

As we get older, the opportunities for affection can change. We might move away from family, live alone, become busy with work or have fewer people we feel comfortable hugging.

That can leave some adults missing something that used to be a much more ordinary part of daily life.

If that sounds familiar, you might enjoy my article Why Do I Crave Physical Touch So Much? 7 Possible Reasons.

Why Some People Feel Calmer When They’re Held

Imagine coming home after a difficult day.

You’re exhausted, but your thoughts won’t slow down. You sit next to someone you trust, they put an arm around you, and after a while you notice that you’re not quite as tense.

There may be several things happening at once.

The physical sensation might be pleasant. You might feel emotionally supported. You may no longer feel that you have to deal with everything alone.

You’re also sitting quietly, taking a break from whatever was stressing you out.

All of those things could contribute to how you feel.

It’s difficult to separate the effects of touch from the effects of trust, companionship, rest and the situation itself.

And that’s perfectly fine. Human comfort doesn’t have to come from one isolated biological mechanism.

Does a Long Cuddle Work Better Than a Short Hug?

Not necessarily.

Some people love being held for a long time. Others enjoy a brief hug but start feeling restless after a few minutes.

The 2024 review of touch interventions found that, across the studies examined, increasing the duration of individual sessions wasn’t consistently associated with greater benefits.

That doesn’t establish an ideal cuddle length, especially because the studies included different kinds of touch.

It does challenge the idea that longer automatically means better.

A hug doesn’t need to last a particular number of seconds to count.

And nobody should feel they need to stay in a cuddle longer than they’re comfortable with.

Why Anxiety Can Make Some People Dislike Being Touched

Here’s something that sometimes gets missed in conversations about the benefits of cuddling.

When you’re anxious, physical contact isn’t always comforting.

For some people, being held feels reassuring. For others, it can feel restrictive, distracting or overwhelming.

Imagine feeling hot, restless and already overstimulated. Someone wrapping their arms around you might be the last thing you want.

Or perhaps you enjoy cuddling when you’re relaxed but dislike unexpected touch when you’re stressed.

Autistic people and others with sensory sensitivities may have particularly specific preferences around pressure, movement and unexpected contact, although those preferences vary enormously between individuals.

Past experiences and the relationship with the person touching you can matter too.

Can Cuddling Help With an Anxiety Disorder?

It’s important to distinguish everyday stress from an anxiety disorder.

Most of us experience stress and occasional anxiety. An anxiety disorder can involve persistent or excessive fear, worry or physical symptoms that interfere with everyday life.

Comforting touch may be one enjoyable way of relaxing, and research on touch interventions has found promising results for anxiety-related outcomes.

But that doesn’t mean cuddling is a treatment for an anxiety disorder.

It can’t replace appropriate professional support, psychological therapy or medication when those are needed.

If anxiety is affecting your sleep, work, relationships or daily activities, it’s worth speaking to your GP or another qualified healthcare professional.

Think of cuddling as a possible source of comfort, not a cure.

What If You Don’t Have Anyone to Cuddle?

This is something a lot of discussions about hugs overlook.

Advice like “just hug someone you love” isn’t particularly helpful if you live alone, don’t have a partner or don’t have people in your life who enjoy physical affection.

And even if you do have a partner, they might not enjoy cuddling as much as you do.

I’ve written more about that in Can You Be Touch Starved Even in a Relationship?.

There are still other ways to look after yourself.

Spend Time With People You Feel Comfortable Around

Physical contact isn’t the only way we experience social connection.

Spending time with friends, having a good conversation or sharing an activity can be comforting in its own right.

And if you have friends or family who enjoy hugs, there’s nothing wrong with asking for one.

Something as simple as “Could I have a hug? I’ve had a horrible day” can be enough.

Of course, they can say no, and that’s okay too.

Try a Blanket or Comfortable Pressure

Some people enjoy wrapping themselves in a soft blanket, using a weighted blanket or resting with a cushion held close to their body.

These sensations can feel comforting, particularly if you enjoy firm pressure.

Weighted blankets have been studied in relation to sleep and anxiety, but the evidence varies by population and outcome. They shouldn’t be presented as a substitute for human connection or clinical treatment.

If you use one, choose a weight that feels comfortable and allows you to move and remove it easily.

Find Ways to Settle Your Body Without Touch

A warm shower, gentle movement, a quiet room, slower breathing or listening to something familiar may help you unwind.

Some people enjoy sitting with a pet, if the animal also welcomes the contact.

Others find that being outside, walking or spending time in nature helps them feel less overwhelmed.

There’s no reason everyone needs to relax in the same way.

How to Ask for a Hug Without Making Someone Uncomfortable

It’s perfectly reasonable to want affection, but it’s also important to remember that other people have their own preferences.

You can simply ask:

• “Would you mind giving me a hug?”
• “I’ve had a stressful day. Are you in the mood for a cuddle?”
• “Could we sit together for a little while?”
• “Would you prefer some space? That’s fine too.”

And if someone doesn’t want to be touched, respect that answer.

Pressure can make physical contact uncomfortable, even when the person asking has good intentions.

Affection works best when everyone involved actually wants it.

Is Touch Starvation the Same as Anxiety?

No, although the experiences can overlap.

Touch starvation is an informal description of missing physical affection or contact. Anxiety describes experiences of worry, fear or apprehension, and can also refer to diagnosable conditions.

Someone can miss cuddling without having an anxiety disorder. And someone can experience significant anxiety while having plenty of physical affection in their life.

If you’re curious about what it means to feel deprived of touch, my earlier article explores 10 signs you may be touch deprived.

Frequently Asked Questions

Research and Further Reading

1. Packheiser et al. (2024). A Systematic Review and Multivariate Meta-Analysis of the Physical and Mental Health Benefits of Touch Interventions. Nature Human Behaviour.
   Read the study.
2. Berretz et al. (2022). Romantic Partner Embraces Reduce Cortisol Release After Acute Stress Induction in Women but Not in Men. PLOS ONE.
   Read the study.